Outbreak Company: Volume 4 Read online

  Chapter One: The Melancholy of an Empress

  I, Kanou Shinichi, want to shout it from the rooftops:

  Maid uniforms are good!

  They are very, very good!

  “Boo......”

  There isn’t really a settled definition of a maid uniform. To say that it’s the uniform a maid wears might seem tautological, but it’s also completely true. Granted, we have things like sailor uniforms, which started as the outfits worn by sailors but now, at least in Japan, have practically become synonymous with female students. Do me a favor and just forget about all that.

  I think the ensemble most people picture when they think of a maid is something like this: a black or dark-blue one-piece dress, a frilly apron, and maybe a headpiece (also frilly).

  And that’s about right. It has a functional beauty—totally without ostentation, yet never in danger of being plain. Its very purposefulness is what makes it attractive.

  “Booooooo......”

  But in the modern age, and especially in Japan, maid uniforms are first and foremost cosplay.

  They might come in pink or light blue, for example. The skirt might only go down to the thighs, to be combined with high socks. They might be sleeveless. They’re all about ostentation, excess, trying anything and everything.

  Of course, as an otaku who prided himself on his wide-ranging tastes, I loved a good cosplay maid. It was everything I could want. Especially that absolute territory peeking out from between her socks and skirt, like a battle line between innocence and temptation... It’s art. Just the socks alone, working their way up her thighs, were enough to set my head spinning.

  “Booooooooooo......”

  And yet—and yet!

  Does that mean I thought we should pretend as if maid uniforms intended for actual maid work don’t exist? Hardly! We can’t forget our roots—don’t you agree?!

  Especially... the color. Dark tones (black being representative) make a person look thinner. Then there’s the whiteness of the apron contrasting with the dark uniform! That’s crucial! The white speaks to the innocence of a young maiden; it’s the one thing about a maid on which I absolutely refuse to compromise!

  These uniforms are fundamentally different from outfits whose main appeal is how much skin they show. Praise ye the maid! Venerate her uniform! It is no mere knee-jerk reaction against sexual desire—it presents a panoply of metaphors, creating drama within all who see it. What greater degree of moe could there be?!

  “Boooooooooooooooooo......!”

  And so on and so forth.

  “Boooooooooooooooooooooooooo......!”

  Such nuanced and perceptive appraisals—

  “Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......!”

  —were completely absent from my mind at that moment.

  I was entirely at the mercy of the whirlwind of emotion that welled up within me. I could only lift my voice in admiration.

  What a... What a... chest!!

  It had just been a morning like any other, and I had just been walking down the hallway of my mansion, when suddenly I heard a door open. And when I looked over—

  “Boooooooo......ooo! Boooooooooo............bs!”

  It was like an orchard of peaches, a paradise.

  Yes! Two rich, juicy peaches right there! Hidden from me only by a white apron and a navy dress. You could practically smell them! They practically cried, Look at us! Two great hills that strived against the fabric entrapping them, as if they might burst through it at any time. So round and perfect! O! O! They weren’t just big, but were flawless in the arc they described...

  In the name of all that is good, praise these twin hills!

  Sieg—OPPAI!!

  “Shinichi-kun?” As I stood there shaking with gratitude, I heard a dubious voice. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m worshiping,” I said, pressing my hands firmly together.

  Oh thank you, thank you!

  Such vast boobs were a dream come true. Boobs are love. Boobs are life.

  Worship them properly, and be assured that your life will be extended by a thousand days.

  “Worshiping what, exactly?”

  “What else! These generous, jiggling, truly scandalous—”

  That was as far as I got before, blinking—and with a great deal of effort—I succeeded in raising my eyes from her chest to her face.

  “Oh, hey. It’s you, Minori-san.”

  “So you didn’t even glance at my face first, huh?” the black-haired maid said in exasperation.

  The woman in front of me could have passed for a teenager, but she was actually in her early twenties—a real babyface. She had nice, symmetrical features, but there was a rounded quality to her face that made her seem less beautiful than cute. The big, watery eyes lurking behind her glasses contributed to the effect.

  “What? Hardly. Perish the thought. Of course I, uh—” I raised my right hand as if to emphasize my truthfulness. I decided this would be a good moment for a proper greeting. “Good morning, Minori-san.”

  Her name was Koganuma Minori-san. You might say she was your archetypical warm and fuzzy type: she looked very kind and in fact was quite good at taking care of people. Her occupation, though? She was a WAC, a female member of the Japan Self-Defense Force. She was living in this mansion as my bodyguard.

  We were pretty much wacky housemates!

  “I didn’t recognize you at first.”

  I really hadn’t. Minori-san normally wore her JSDF uniform: a shirt, tight skirt, and a necktie for fashion. An outfit that basically screamed, I’m a member of the armed forces! She sometimes changed into work clothes when there was physical labor to be done, but now that I thought about it, I had never seen Minori-san in civilian attire.

  Hence, my image of Minori-san went hand-in-hand with her military uniform. For her to suddenly show up in a maid outfit—how could I not be a little Huh? Who’s that? It wasn’t like I was constantly staring at her chest all the time. Mostly.

  Plus, today, Minori-san had her hair down.

  Normally, she always kept her hair tied back in a bun. It was probably a lot easier to move that way, but it also meant that at a glance, it could look like she had boyishly short hair. Yet this morning, her hair fell to just below her shoulders.

  Taken all together, along with her glasses, she suddenly gave the impression of a very mature woman—someone graceful and ladylike. I know they say women are masters of disguise, but she was totally different today. And on top of all of that, she was wearing a maid uniform. The picture of innocence was complete.

  I guess you could say it was the moe of the unexpected.

  I was so used to seeing her in her formal outfit that now her breasts just... called to me. It was like... Oh, I know. It was like when you see a normally boyish girl put on a cute dress and your heart starts pounding.

  “What’s with the outfit?” I asked.

  “Oh... Uh,” Minori-san replied, smiling shyly and scratching her cheek in embarrassment.

  Ooh! The gesture itself seemed fresh and adorable. Even though I know those aren’t words you would normally use to praise a woman older than yourself.

  “Myusel and Cerise just... you know.”

  Myusel. Cerise. They were the two actual maids currently employed at our household. Originally it had just been Myusel alone, but the way things turned out, she ended up very busy, and we decided to hire a second maid. That was Cerise.

  Myusel could sometimes be a little hasty; she was sort of the “clumsy girl” type. Cerise, however, wasn’t yet used to maid work—or more accurately, human life in general—and she had a tendency to mess up periodically. And if they both happened to have trouble at once, it could turn into a bit of a
thing.

  To take a recent example...

  Mistake number one: Myusel puts all of Minori-san’s clothes in the wash at once.

  Mistake number two: Cerise accidentally spills the water from a vase on Minori-san.

  This clumsy combo meant Minori-san’s one set of dry clothes—the ones she was wearing—were done for. Anyway, I gathered that was what had happened. Cerise was someone’s wife, so you’d think—but forget about that.

  “And I had to wear something until my clothes dried...”

  “But this uniform,” I said. “It’s not Myusel’s, is it?”

  “It is. The uniform she wears—I guess it’s not actually her own.”

  “Huh?”

  “It’s a work uniform. Provided by her employer, just like my army uniform.”

  “Ah...”

  Now I got it.

  Although, practically speaking, this was my house, the mansion was actually the property of the Holy Eldant Empire—in other words, the state. I was just renting it from them. And to my surprise, the house came with a maid and even a gardener. So it made sense that a maid uniform would be treated as necessary equipment.

  “Come to think of it, Cerise wears one with a slightly different design, doesn’t she?”

  “Well, everything about her is a bit different, including her body type,” Minori-san said.

  In other words, it appeared there was a range of maid outfits in different styles and sizes kept here at the mansion. Minori-san was simply wearing one of them.

  “I kind of like how it’s different from Myusel’s,” I said. “Very chic.”

  “It’s a little tight,” Minori-san said.

  She was right: it wasn’t exactly a size too small or anything, but it did look a bit constraining. The dress buttoned all the way up to the collar, and it looked... well, heavy. Kind of “gothic” style. And in Minori-san’s case, it barely fit around her chest—the fabric seemed near to bursting. Despite how little skin she was showing, the effect was strangely erotic.

  Inside, I was deeply grateful to Myusel and Cerise for making such excellent mistakes.

  “I just can’t keep this skirt down,” Minori-san said, “and it really is a little too small to move comfortably. I’d like to change into something else, or maybe go get some of my laundry, even if it isn’t completely dry yet.”

  And that, it seemed, was what she had been on her way to do when she had come out of her room and run smack into me.

  Despite all that, though...

  “You know, it really does look good on you.”

  “Try not to look at my chest when you say that.”

  “Pardon me very much,” I said, adjusting my gaze upward. “I mean it, though. You look good.” This was the honest truth; I meant exactly what I said. “You could get away with wearing that. You know, just around the house.”

  Maybe Minori-san always wore her JSDF uniform because she was, technically, always on the job. She was supposed to be guarding me 24/7/365.

  But still, maybe she could wear something more normal, even if only when she was at home.

  Minori-san, however, looked away from me and said inarticulately, “Yeah, well... I don’t know about that...”

  I gave her a questioning look. What was wrong? This wasn’t like her at all. Curious, I tried to look her in the face—but my eyes naturally started to wander downward to the swell below her neck. No! It’s not like that. I swear I’m not doing it on purpose—for the most part! But it’s still not like that! It’s just those boobs! Those boobs are right there...!

  Bam!

  I heard some kind of popping sound. Minori-san let out a voiceless sound of surprise. At the same moment, I felt pain assault my face—my eyes, in fact.

  “My eyes! My eyes!”

  I learned later that it was the buttons from the uniform. No longer able to withstand the strain of Minori-san’s prodigious chest, they had popped off and gone flying... straight at me, who happened to be looking directly at them.

  What divine punishment! What karmic retribution!

  “Sh-Shinichi-kun! Are you okay?”

  “My eyes! My eyeeees!” I kept repeating, like the awful loli-con villain out of a certain nameless anime. Thankfully, Minori-san was kind enough not to intone some spell of destruction like “ba**e!”, but came to my aid instead.

  “My eyes—eeyikes!”

  “Wha—hey!”

  As I flailed about, mad with pain, I slipped and fell—taking Minori-san with me.

  Under normal circumstances, I’m sure Minori-san would have caught me. She might be a girl, but she was a heck of a lot stronger than a former home security guard like me, and had better reflexes. But now she was in an unfamiliar outfit. Plus, she was trying to cover her chest, off of which all the buttons had summarily popped. It wasn’t the most conducive situation to moving freely.

  I thrust my hands out instinctively, ready for an unpleasant collision with the floor—but my face and the back of my head both got away without a pounding.

  It’s... It’s so soft!

  Something, some soft thing, stopped my face. Could this... Could this be? It couldn’t be! No way! No wayayayayayayayayayayay (Linguistic faculties short-circuited by excitement. Please stand by.)

  “Eyow-ow...”

  “Are you a-all right?”

  I came back to myself and quickly opened my eyes. My vision was blurred with tears, but at least it seemed I was still able to see.

  And the first thing I saw was... well, exactly what I expected.

  “Whoa!”

  A chest!

  And because her dress was nearly popping off, Minori-san was desperately holding it down with her arm, which caused her boobs to squish in a way that made them look extra, extra cushy, as if they were exclaiming, Squeeze us! Squeeeeeze u—

  No! Now was not the time!

  Hold on, wait just a second. Is Minori-san not wearing...?!

  Could Myusel have accidentally washed all of Minori-san’s clothes at once?

  Ahhh! Myusel! Myusel! Good job! Excellent work!

  Stop that! This isn’t the time to be overflowing with praise for my clumsy maid.

  “Shinichi-kun?!”

  “S-Sorry about that!”

  I rushed to get off of Minori-san. But as if she had been waiting for that exact moment—

  “M-Master?”

  Her voice sounded deeply shaken.

  I unconsciously froze.

  Let’s review the situation Minori-san and I were in. She was lying on the floor—in a maid outfit with no buttons, not to mention her girls were running free. And then there was me, not only on top of her but with my face buried in her chest.

  No matter who stumbled on us like this, their conclusion was likely to be the same: I had shoved Minori-san to the ground and was trying to do something unspeakable to her.

  I was sorely tempted to just put my head back down and try to escape reality—but I knew better than that. With a great deal of effort, I turned around.

  Myusel was standing there, looking as shaken as she sounded. And then there was Elvia, her eyes wide as if she was seeing something incredible.

  Myusel Fourant: the half-elf girl who was a maid here.

  And Elvia Harneiman: a werewolf girl and self-proclaimed wandering artist.

  Both of them lived here in the mansion.

  “Shinichi-sama—” Elvia’s animal ears and tail wiggled a little bit. Was she shocked or sort of... admiring? “Is it... ‘that day’?”

  “It is not!” I almost screamed.

  The “day” the beast girl was referring to wasn’t exactly the same as a human girl’s “day.” Instead it was a once-a-month period of being in heat. That period had caused me more than a little trouble not long ago. Was she implying that beast-person males experienced it as well? It seemed like that would make things awfully chaotic...

  Okay, forget about that.

  Myusel looked away from us as if to say she couldn’t stand to see any mor
e, then spun on her heel and rushed out into the hallway.

  “M-Myusel, wait!” I reached out after her rapidly vanishing form. “This is all a mistake! A mistaaaake!”

  She turned a corner somewhere down the hallway and disappeared. I watched her go with a sinking feeling, while in a corner of my mind my internal monologue observed, with surprising objectivity, that I had said something very similar not that long ago.

  My name is Kanou Shinichi. My dad is a light novel author and my mom is an ero-game writer-illustrator, so you could say I have two sets of otaku genes. About a year after I switched classes from average high-schooler to home security guard on account of being shot down when I confessed my love for my childhood friend, my parents ran out of patience and told me that I could either get back to school, get a job, or get the hell out of their house. Cornered, I started looking for work, and the work I found—well, let’s say it wasn’t the usual.

  Specifically, I became the general manager of a company operating in another world.

  If I tried to explain it like that to most people, they would probably wonder what I was talking about—and if I was in my right mind. But I swear I’m not insane. I think.

  That’s right: I’m in another world. A genuine isekai. The sort of place I always thought only existed in SF and fantasy novels.

  What’s the story? Well, at Aokigahara (a.k.a. Mt. Fuji’s “Sea of Trees”), the place that’s famous for suicides, they found this hole. We didn’t understand even the most basic things about it: how it got there or how long it had been there. No one even really knew what it was.

  The only thing we figured out (so I’m told) was that the hole was some sort of hyperspace tunnel leading to a world entirely different from Earth.

  You could say this was good luck, of a sort. I mean, what if it had led to outer space, or straight to the Earth’s mantle, or into the Schwarzchild radius of a black hole? The day the hyperspace tunnel opened could have been the last day Earth existed.

  Anyway...

  To make a long story short, the Japanese government secretly investigated the hole, and they discovered beings much like themselves on the other side. That is to say, there were humans here who had organized themselves into nations.